I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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