My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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