I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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