i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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