I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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