i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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