some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
don't judge my taste in strippers
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize