singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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