Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize