Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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