im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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