I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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