i think my tv is drunk
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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