good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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