The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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