Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize