Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
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omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
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I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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