tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize