My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize