Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize