I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
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What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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