Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize