hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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