Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize