dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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