It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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