I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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