If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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