booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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