I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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