Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize