You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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