please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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