If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize