Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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