You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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