there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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