do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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