You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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