these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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