So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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