Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am midnight drunk by noon
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
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