I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize