You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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