My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
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Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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