The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize