oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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