We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize