Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize