There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
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It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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